In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
