I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
