hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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