dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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