I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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