Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
