Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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