Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
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I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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