Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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