Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
