Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
