no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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