I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
