No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
