i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
