Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
