haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
