guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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