everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
