I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
