is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
