So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize