just tell him i said nine months
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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