he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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