Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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