Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to calm my uterus...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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