Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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