I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
