YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
