Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We got so high we made milksteak
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
