i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
