I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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