Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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