I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize