he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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