And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
