My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
