Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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