My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just had sex on a roof
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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