i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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