My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize