reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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