did you get engaged???
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
