what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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