im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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