I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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