ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
