oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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