Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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