Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
