So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
