Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
