gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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