It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
