6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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