babies were throwing up all over the place
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
