Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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