It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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