Cold hands, warm shart.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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