What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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