I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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