My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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