I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
