We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
