Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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