We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
