I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
