I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
tell me about the eggs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
